I wouldn't say " no " to a gun.
I decided to write this post in english because I'm very sad and I wanted my life to be cooler for something like a minute. I know it wont really work but if we could just pretend it does I would be really happy (at least for 1 second). The fact is that I don't get why he's not texting me back. Yeah it's still the same old story but always with a new guy so...I don't really see where's the problem (except the fact that this new guy is not texting me back, of course). We had a date last saturday and it happened to be very cool : great feelings, lots of stupid laughing...even our hands touched quite a few times ! He says he wanted to see me again that he was looking forward for next time. He even send me messages just after he got home. Everything was going on pretty good. And today I finally took my courage and sent a text (which we usually did every day but not since our date to be very honest). It was nothing much, just a classic " Hi babe " message and, of course, I tought he will answer me quite quickly just as he did in the past but guess what...he didn't. & my heart is now broken. I know I'm making it sound almost funny (I think it's more the english than me actually) but it is not, believe me. I feel like...something went wrong and I can't figure what. Also I did nothing,I mean...I waited till today to get back in touch with him and...I don't know, I don't get it at all. But I do care about this guy and I was so happy that we were having fun together and feeling the same way about our date. What could have made him change his mind ? It's not 24hours yet but since I send that text I saw him connected on facebook from his computer and his cellphone so there's no way he's dead so that's why he's not answering. So that means that he definetly saw my message. Do you guys think that he's ignoring me ? Or maybe he's doing it on purpose (you know making me wait and then texting me back so I will feel so relieved and thankfull - I don't know about what exactly but...-) ? Please tell me that 24hours is not a big deal and that I'm just getting anxious for nothing...I swear I feel so bad....I want to see him again so much, he was like the coolest thing happening in my life right now. I know that almost each time that I talked about this kind of situation in Let Dance Tonight then it has always come up with an happy ending (and made me look like a perfect brat) but this time I really have some doubts. I wish I had faith. I cried earlier..... :(
I don't know if doing this in english really helped and I probably made a loooot of mistakes but there's one thing I know...I'm still looking at my phone every fucking second. As if he'd choose to answer in the middle of the night when he had all day long to do it. Yeah I'm a psycho but it was not enough so I also decided to be the most stupid girl on earth.
Well..gonna keep you posted. I love you anyway. And you should love me too because I'm really really really sad right now. Come on, show me some love.
(I wish I was tired enough to sleep and forget everything about this but I'm not & my heart and stomach are doing those things that remember me that I'm a way to much preoccupied about this guy and I won't be able to stand it if he's really going to get rid of me...god, I'm such a drama queen and I swear I don't even want that !).
Okay I'm really done now :(
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